Lest Ye Be Judged

This one is directed to the ogre-lady at the rehabilitation centre where Evelyn is recuperating and getting intensive physiotherapy for her newly installed bionic hip.

Just because someone has white hair does not mean a thing. It means they have white hair, so you can logically assume they've been around for a while, yes. White hair doesn't make you deaf, and it most certainly doesn't make you stupid.

I think the #1 rule in dealing with patients should be that you TALK TO THE PATIENT. Barring unconciousness, or dementia, most people know who they are and where they are. Evelyn can answer all of your questions without 'assistance' from anyone else. She speaks English. She reads and writes it very well, too. Imagine that! She had a total hip replacement, not a brain-ectomy, for goodness sake!

Evelyn and I were heading outside to check out the grounds at the rehabilitation centre; she was on wheels and I was pushing the chair in which she sat. One of the nurses told me that if I brought her back before 7pm they would give her some more medication. "OKAY MRS. BUCK? SHE WILL BRING YOU BACK SO WE CAN GIVE YOU YOUR MEDICATION!!" It wasn't so much what she said, as how she said it. She used exactly the same tone you'd use with a three year old while encouraging them to pick up their toys so they can have a cookie. Like, if she remembered to come back inside they would give her some yummy medication, and wouldn't that be fun!?

Um, okay. If the bribery tactic is what you need to use to keep people in your institution - I think you might want to revisit some of your methods of communication. She's not deaf, nor lacking in any lucidity. I'm not her keeper, but I was tempted to roll her right out to my car, and take her home. I had one other brief conversation with the ogre (while Evelyn was talking with someone else, filling out forms, etc."

Ogre-lady said to me, quite knowingly, "So, I'll just write retired under 'occupation' on her chart".

Me - "No, she's not retired - she's a municipal politicial."

OL - "A muni..muci...mu....politician?"

Me - "Yeah, mark that down on her chart"

OL - "Ok. M...U...N....I then what?"

Me - (spelled it out in full including politician)

OL - "Ok.. muni (mumble mumble) politician.

Sorry lady, you lose. If you can't say it, can't pronounce it... and are going to assume that my friend is deaf and stupid and whatever else you wanted to assume - then I am going to assume that you're the dumb one.

I can't think of anything more demeaning then having someone direct a question to whomever I'm with, when I'm right there and able to speak for myself.

I noticed the same thing when George had his knee replaced about 10 years ago. I was there through the whole thing, at the hospital every day, etc. And more and more was directed to me instead of him. Same thing when Gwen had a hip replacement. I'm happy to be the appointed spokesperson when invited to be - but don't just assume.

George likes to tell me that he's forgotten more than I'll ever know. I believe that. Gwen used to ask me "Do you think I got this white hair from walking through a snowstorm? No - I earned every last one of them!" I believe her too.

I know that this ogre-lady was just trying to do her job. But I left there this afternoon very frustrated with the whole turn of events. Argh!

The hip replacement in itself was a success, thank goodness.

On a side note, no house for Logan and I just yet. I am too chicken to take the plunge. I could maintain the townhouse we looked at - but I don't want to start out totally broke. So I'm still saving. Like crazy. In the last week I've spent slightly more than $7. Crazy, eh? My car needs gas this week, so that will be a big expense. Between all the phone calls I made yesterday to the real estate guy, the mortgage broker, etc... I'm sick of talking on the phone too. Not good when that's 'what I do for a living'. But, life goes on. This weekend it's just me and my boy and I can't wait!